Majid

Majid is the guy with whom I played 'goti' (marbles) when I was 11.
Majid is the guy with whom I promised to enter in the milk-selling business, because according to him - 'waha bahot paisa hai'.
Majid is the only guy with whom I was friends with when I was 11.
Majid is the guy with whom I spoke yesterday....and he confessed something that finally settled a part of my eternally restless nerves.

I was really good at 'goti', specifically a game called 'faul (to be pronounced - faaoul) goli'. In this game, each player puts equal number of marbles in a ring drawn on the ground. One is suppose to hit-and-remove these marbles out of the ring using another (shooter) marble held very peculiarly in your hand to own them (the marbles in the ring). To elaborate about the positioning of the shooter-marble in the hand, one should rest the thumb of the left hand on the ground, then hold the shooter-marble between one of the remaining fingers of the left hand and any number of fingers of the right hand, so that you can aim. phew!! It's all right if you did not understand that :D

Point is - I was good at this particular game and my dad had qualified it as an unsophisticated game (specially because his beloved elder son was disgusted with this game and no other smart or convent-going kid will play this). But I wasn't a convent-going kid anyways, so why bother!!! And where does Majid fits into the picture!! Well, we used to play 'goti' together and he used to get good pocket money for buying marbles. With my skills, I robbed him off as frequently as thrice a day and continued accumulating marbles in a plastic bag. I am thankful to my brother who quite promptly used to pull me off from the game just before my dad came home from work, that saved me from good amount of hours of mutilated listening. One bag became two, and then more. Had my dad come to know about the marble filled bags, first of all, he would have trashed the bags, followed by me getting a graceful request to leave the house (Not kidding!!) Eventually, I robbed Majid of 5000 marbles which literally made from my first 50 odd marbles. To hide those bags, I dug a hole outside my house and buried my hard earned after tax possession. I had to give away few tens of marbles to my neighbor who saw my deed, but promised to not tell anybody if I give him some of the marbles - which I agreed to, that is why I called these marbles as - hard earned after tax possession.

Ritual was to un-bury the buried every day to count my marbles, or at least number of bags. After couple of months, someone stole my bags and I went literally crazy. I felt as if my retirement funds and all savings are vanished in thin air, and I am 60 and without a life threatening disease :(. My mom tried to console me, but I did not stop crying and was telling her that its dad who found and threw them - 'I saw him happy today' ... sob...sob! I doubted my neighbor and he refused of any felony, so did Majid. I thought it is no fair to have doubted Majid for how willingly he buys new marbles and loses each one of them to me. Majid, as best he was, continued to buy and lose marbles to me :). But I never reached the 5000 mark again. I guess I had lost my goti charm and appetite!!!

I spoke with Majid yest after 15 years. He was mad at me for doubting his business acumen and not standing by my promise to partner him in the milk-selling business. Before hanging up, he confessed he was the one who stole HIS marbles.

A prescription for gross conventionality

Last week (or month), Michael Jackson (MJ) might have created a new world record which nobody must have taken a note of - "Person who caused highest number of upheavals in IM (instant messenger) user's status messages". I managed to capture few. Please note that I am not maligning any of the status messages in any way, they are 'strictly' copied as they are/were. (The IT criminal law hasn't reached a level where they can sue me for copying my friend's status messages...phew!!)

Messages which I think are explicitly referring to MJs demise

• "Death of Legend"
• "I lost my hero"
• "RIP MJ" (I didn't know wat RIP meant, but 4 such status messages made me push the limits to go check on it, and now I know!!... imagine how I must have read it without knowing what RIP stands for - "rip michael jackson"...I was like - man, atleast now, leave him alone!!! :D )
• "He taught me how to dance" (I didn't know MJ was a personal trainer too)

Messages which I think may or may not referr to MJs demise

• "I cried" (Okay...thats way too much of personal information!!)

And my personal favorite

• "I want to live his life" (As soon as I saw this, I pinged MJs wiki page to him/her thinking that he/she may not know how much debt he was under)

Now, the question is, why did I name the entry - "A prescription for gross conventionality". MJs death has created such a hoopla, that Iran's current political turmoil seemed lilliputian. I even started wondering if people have any idea what is going on there. To assuage my curiosity, I asked about it (Iran's situation) to 10 random people and if it is affecting any of the status messages (if not life). I got some ghastly responses and I think they were too lame to even figure here (Don't worry, none of these 10 people will read my blog!!). This exercise was disappointing and it marked the search for a title for this entry and I believe that I have come with an appropriate one - A prescription for gross conventionality!! The conventionality being what people normally do/did and gross being how they tend to ignore equally or more important facts only for reasons beyond my comprehension!!!

Entertainment will orchestrate my life in 2009

"Really...how doped you must be to think so", my mirror image who is a virtuoso said to me and he is almost always sarcastic. The response came for the comment I made about my life being shiny and no-whiny in the year 200NINE. To put things in perspective, I am describing a conversation I recently had with my mirror image who happens to not agree with anything I say. But since he has no physical existence, he is more or less completely paralysed and literally my slave..... This time around though, he decided to revolt and hamper my straight(? ... yeah you knuckleheads, don't stray - stay put!) thinking.

So....

"I think your tooth is shaking", he said. Of course he was lying, I replied, "Is this how you going to tell me how bad the decision of making 2009 a fun year was...by telling ridiculously sympathetic lies?". In my mind, I kept saying to myself that even though he is absolutely right about 2009 being so not fun year, I will make it right, there are 6 more months to go!! Damnn me, he reads my mind but I cant read his. He simply laughed "He He He...".

Looking back upon a period of 6 months: I had a lot-of-free-time filled last semester at CMU last year, thanks to 7 courses that I took in summer semester. I decided to turn this lot-of-free-time into lot-of-fun-time in the year 200NINE. In that josh, I drove the whole Maharashtra state from Pune to Chandrapur following number of GPS like instruments called humans, just to realize that in the last 3 miles of journey, I drove with the hand-brake ON...You guessed it right!!! My car's brakes failed eventually and I almost had myself killed ...well on two occasions (calls for another blog entry). But, I thought - man, this was fun!!! Thats when I knew, I knew 2009 is not going to disappoint me. My virtuoso mirror image interuppted my train of thoughts - "Well, it din't turn out that way, did it?". I gave up my fight with him and joined the glory of being betrayed by my own life, "F$#$ my life (in 09 only :D )....hell, not even remotely". So, In retrospect:

• O my F Lord, I worked for almost 16 hrs a day for almost 2.5 months
• O my F Lord, I almost wrote 14000 lines of code in these 3 months
• O my F Lord, I almost always dint drink over the weekends (then, when did i get drunk!!!! It's hurting now, for real.... :P )
• O my F Lord, I almost always dint drink over the weekdays
• O my F Lord, I used almost every penny that my behemoth employer gave me
• O my F Lord, I am still sitting in the lawn area in the concerts (raise the bar, dude!)

Good thing is, I didn't work equally hard for my employer and worked just enough for it(my employer) to think that I did a good job. So, I am going to continue not working for it.

I turned to my mirror image and said "This is going to change in next 6 months." He looked at me with substantial amount of disgust, "Sure, it will!!". The sarcasm continues....